As I reach another milestone, another moment of reflection sets in. It’s impossible not to trace back the sequence of steps that led here: the butterfly effects, the unlikely coincidences, the uncertainty that quietly shaped each choice.

This one felt special, so I decided to write about it. I shared it on LinkedIn, and the reactions were… mixed. People will judge you - for what you post, for what you pursue, for how you move through life.

That’s something I’m still learning to get used to. When you put yourself out there, you invite opinions you didn’t ask for. But silence isn’t much safer. At least feedback, however mixed, gives you something to work with.

I catch myself doing it too, reading others through my own lens. Sometimes it feels like they’re leaving value on the table - things they could reach if they just tried a little harder. But that’s just my version of the world. My assumptions, my biases.

The truth is, life is an ongoing exercise in maximizing the expected value (EV) of your utility. Utility is anything that brings you joy - money, time with family, a quiet evening, a long ride, a Netflix binge. Each of us assigns different weights to these things. And no two people share the same utility function.

When we judge others, we project our function onto theirs. But they’re solving a completely different optimization problem.

Optimize for what you value, not what scores well for others.